I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
