Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
