i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
