I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
