I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
