Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
