Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
