What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
