I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
