all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize