My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
not ubering you a puppy
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
