He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
