remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
honey bunches of taint.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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