I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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