a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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