I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize