Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
