I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
