I bet he comes in French.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize