in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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