Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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