he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
