you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
