Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
