Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
