He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
