yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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