Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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