i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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