Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
