I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
