ya dads aren't the best wingmen
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
