And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
