But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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