Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
