I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
