you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
