While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
