I bet he comes in French.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
