She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
