this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
