I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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