Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
