she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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