how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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