Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
