moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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