How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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