too bad you live with your parents still
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
