This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You need Xanax blowdarts
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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