dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
