so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
