she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
