I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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