Pants 0. Shit 1.
I faked an abortion last night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
