and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
