Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
