You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
