Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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