HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
