Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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